Habits to Break

I know I have bad habits that I need to stop or at least control (but it would be better to stop). But for now, I am thinking of two habits that I would want to break. Both of them starts with the letter C. I think and I feel that these habits are not really "helping me".

The first one is my vitamin C habit. This magic stick has been my companion for more than 5 years now. And would you believe that my love ones have no idea that I've been a vitamin C user for a long time now. Shhh... its our secret okay? (big grin) Anyway, I was introduced to the magic stick when I first had my heart broken and I had a taste of the corporate life. Reality bites. Ever since then, it has been my companion during heartaches and depressions.

I want to stop using vitamin C slowly. And hopefully, I would be able to totally quit using it by the second quarter of 2010. This C is bad for my health (can't believe I am saying this) (big grin)

The second C habit that I want to break - C for Charming. My "Prince Charming" that is; the love of my life; my destiny, that was all I know and what I believed for a long time. I've been waiting for Charming to realize that. I continued to wish and to hope and to pray. But I guess God's been telling me for a long time to stop wishing, hoping and praying for Charming; I just didn't listen. And I think now is the time to stop waiting (finally!) Yes, I am trying. And hopefully, I would be able to break the habit of thinking about Charming and move on with my life. I am listening now. I know God has been preparing my Prince for me; and his name is not Charming.

I remained friends with Charming. That's how we were and that's how its going to be 'til the end. And I am happy about it. As for my habit of thinking about Charming, I aim to be Charming Free by the end of the 1st quarter of 2010.

Wish me good luck!

Laugh Until You Cry

Laugh hard until I cry. This is one thing that I always want to experience. It is actually a very good thing. Laughing is a good state of emotion; but laughing so hard until you're in tears is truly an awesome state of emotion. You'll feel good and happy (as in the very essence of happiness) after laughing your heart out (big grin).

I was able to be in this state twice since the time I started my bucket list. The first one was on 16 October 2009, with my friend/office mate T. The second one was on 21 October 2009, with T again and with A (they are my friends and office mates).

My friend/office mate T always laugh at me and with me... hehehe... She said that I am funny. Sometimes we would laugh so hard just because we are looking at each other. Whenever I'm with T, we always giggle and laugh together.

I am still looking forward to moments when I would laugh so hard with my friends and love ones, until tears are rolling down my face. Tears of true joy and happiness.

How It Started

The idea of making a list of all the things that I want to do and accomplish came to me last October 2009. I was watching the movie The Bucket List showing in HBO one night and it somehow inspired me to create my own bucket list. In the movie, the man prepared a bucket list because they are sick. Soon they are kicking the bucket. As for me, I decided to create my own because I feel that my life is going nowhere (big grin). Life is short. And I don't want to waste it no more. For the last 4-5 years, I feel like I have been standing on the same ground. All the while I thought, I was doing what it takes to find my place in this world; but for the last 4-5 years, every Holiday season, I find myself on the same situation. Nothing's changed. I am still here. I am what I was 4-5 years ago. And then I would end up asking myself, where have all those years gone? To stop that same thing to happen again, I feel that a bucket list would help me make the most out of my time. And make sure that no time nor day is wasted; that each day is lived to the fullest.

I hope this online journal would inspire others to make their own bucket list. And together, let us journey through life and enjoy it to the fullest. Let this be our gift to ourselves this Holiday Season. New Year, New Life.

Happy Holidays everyone!

Who is Jhudiel?

Perhaps you are wondering, who is Jhudiel?

Jhudiel is actually my Guardian Angel. Archangel Jhudiel.

I was born on a Friday and Angel Jhudiel is God's gift to me as my Guardian Angel.

Archangel Jhudiel is known as the bearer of God's merciful love and also an angel over Friday. He is usually depicted with a flaming heart or the Sacred Heart in hand.

And when the right time comes, when I'll be blessed with a child, I would like to name my first born - Jhudiel. This is one item in my bucket list.

photo credits here

Jhudiel's Journal - My Bucket List

First of all, I want to greet everyone a Merry Christmas! Today is certainly a very special day to all the people around the world. We are celebrating the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. And to make this day even more special and memorable to me, I decided to start the new theme for this blog.

Jhudiel's Journal. Share with me this wonderful journey, as I try to live life to the fullest. Each moment will be chronicled. Adventures and dreams will be shared. Memories will be treasured.

May this journal inspire others. May this journal be the witness of how I try to enjoy living before kicking the bucket. This is my bucket list.

New Jhudiel's Journal

I am planning to change the theme of this blog. It will remain an online journal, but the topics and features will be different. It will no longer share thoughts and sentiments about a special friendship. I feel that these special thoughts and sentiments for this very special friendship are better treasured inside ones heart and to remain unspoken. The heart never forgets; a better place to your most treasured thoughts, feelings, memories.

Anyway, I was thinking of making this blog like a bucket list blog. It would be like a journal of all the things that I want to do, to accomplish or to experience before I kick the bucket. It would somehow keep me focus (I hope) (big grin); and make sure that I am living life to the fullest.

I am still thinking about it though. I am not sure if can keep up with it (big grin).

Moment of Stillness

She walk towards the smoking balcony. She needs to step out of the office for a few minutes; clear her head for a moment. She's been seating in her desk for almost two hours, trying to focus on her task at hand. But she's not able to fully concentrate on it.

She lights a cigarette; look around the area. The trees were all still. Everything was still. The weather truly is unpredictable. A couple of hours ago, it was raining. The wind was blowing swiftly with the rain. And now, everything is so still. The leaves of the trees are very still. No birds in sight. Nothing is moving.

The stillness made her feel uncomfortable. She finds it strange. It seems as though the earth stood still. As though the time stopped; everything stopped. For a moment there she felt a little scared. But as she continues to look around - the trees are still, everything is quiet. It was a very peaceful moment, yet gloomy.

She feels like she's really getting old.