A Discovery or An Affirmation?

10 July 2009

Gabby is online again today. He said he just got home from work. For today, he was asking a lot about me. He asked about my work. I was surprised with his reaction when I mentioned some things about my work. It seems that it was the first time he was hearing these things from me; when in fact I was able to mention these things to him before. And I remember that I told him about these things a lot of times already. I suddenly felt sad.. disappointed. And I thought, all the while, he never listened to me... to my stories. But I did not tell him that I was disappointed. I just continued talking to him. Telling him more things about my work. We even talked about my health and my financial status. I am, somehow, can be considered as the breadwinner in the family. Anyway, as we continue with our talking, my disappointment grew. There are things he said about me that made me stop and think - this guy does not know me. We surely have grown apart. Drifted away from each other for a long time, we do not know each other anymore.

There are things he said about me that made me realize that he really does not know me that well... not anymore. It seems that he was wedged with the idea of Me when we were still teenagers... when we were still seeing each other in school; when he was still near.

I am also guilty of this too. There are certain or should I say important things about him that I do not know. Unlike Gab, I am trying to discover these things about him; I am trying to reach out and catch up, knowing that we drifted apart. It has always been my prayer - a chance to be with Gab again. Spend time with him, just like old times. Talking about everything. I always pray for a chance to spend time with him, catching up for the lost years. Unfortunately, it remained an unanswered prayer.

I am not sure why he would not let me in again. Sometimes I feel that he never let me get in at all. Well, that's another story. I will write about it soon.

Jhudiel